school and vocation

so i've been in class for several weeks now, almost half of the semester is gone. so some realizations i've made up to this point. i thought that i could get by through life as a procrastinator and do ok. wrong. before now i knew i was unorganized, but thought if i worked long enough or lived long enough that i would just become organized. so far, wrong. before seminary, i was barely getting things done at the church. now i'm cutting them even closer. my brain is on overload. i can't seem to get a handle on anything right now. i'm pretty sure, i'm not cut out to be a program director. when i actually get to my office to work i freeze up. i don't know what the hell i need to do. it is really stressing me out, and i'm typically not the kind to get stressed. it pisses me off too, because i hate being like this, and i'm pretty sure god doesn't want me being like this. how do i get organized and stop procrastinating? people tell me to just write out a schedule. very thoughtful and i've tried it. but when i don't know what to put down besides meetings, class, and lunch those schedules don't really help much. this sucks. and it is pretty much all my fault. so i guess i suck. ok enough whining, i've got phone calls to make. (which i've put off for about 1 1/2 hours already).


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